Random movie rants and thoughts

- LoL @ Apatow Productions. They've pretty much made their own film genre. If you've seen one Apatow film, you've seen them all- and yet, you come back for more. I'm not being sarcastic, it's really a compliment. I like it.

- Horror films are supposed to be scary. If not scary, then at least atmospheric and unnerving. "White Light" was based on many creepy startles, but they were effective, because it was atmospheric and well paced. Weird camera angles, startles that are either predictable or downright cheap, quick cuts and sharp (literally, eardrum-piercing) music aren't scary.

- Speaking of which, here is a good idea: don't spoil the upcoming scare with pushing up the volume of your crappy music right before. It's a horrible cliché, which died two decades ago. Get with the times.

- I know the important thing in a horror film is the... horror part, but a coherent story actually helps matters. It doesn't have to be fully comprehensible, but it has to be well-set. You people are not even trying anymore.

- Horror =/= gore. I don't know when people embraced the idea that guts hanging and "slurk" sound effects are scary. They're not scary; they're disgusting. They're a good way to lose your dinner, they're not a good way to get you to curl up on the couch and cover yourself with your baby blanket. On that note, dipping the extraordinarily beautiful female lead in goat guts doesn't help your film one bit.

- Hint: star-promotion flicks are not films.

- Hint #2: Houses made out of wax can't burn down, for the same reason that candles don't go up in flames when you light them. You got the melting part down, but the blaze? Not so much.

That's all for now.